Bernadette Kirk-Bonner, the mother of Army Sergeant Joshua Kirk, who was killed in Northern Afghanistan October 3, 2009, taught me a lot on Veterans Day. I had come to Bonners Ferry, Idaho to present Bernadette and her family with the Foundation’s first Fallen Heroes Quilt and I came home much richer for it. Bernadette taught me about courage and she taught me about sacrifice. She gave me a glimpse into what it’s like to be a Gold Star Mom. As she and I held the Fallen Heroes Quilt following the presentation, she reached out and lovingly touched each photo patch and read each of the embroidered messages that bordered the quilt while she proudly brought Josh to life for me by relating the patchwork of moments from his childhood that the pictures represented along with stories of his love for his men and of his incredible bravery and heroic actions… stories that were relayed to her by the men who fought beside him the day he died…the men whose lives he saved.
She paused at one picture, a head shot of Josh in uniform, sent back from Afghanistan, and commented that this was the one picture where she didn’t know what was going on or what Josh was thinking at the time it was taken. The silent pause and faraway look told me it was something she would be wondering about for years to come… perhaps forever.
There were times when Bernadette beamed with pride as she spoke of her son, the soldier, and how much he loved fighting for his country. His men said he was fearless and always put their safety ahead of his own. She told of his heroic action that saved the lives of several of his men when, realizing one of the insurgents was positioned above them and there was no clear shot from inside their structure, without hesitation, Josh opened the door and stepped outside, knowingly exposing himself yet doing what needed to be done to save his men. Bernadette says she thinks of it as “Josh stepped out of that door and into infinity.”
There were also times when the pain of the family’s loss returned as Bernadette and Josh’s sisters Jessica and Lizzie tearfully shared how much they miss Josh and how a day doesn’t go by that they don’t think about him and miss him terribly. I can’t help but wonder if there are enough years in a lifetime to ease the pain that comes from losing a son or brother at such a young age.
Having had the opportunity to meet Josh’s family, I feel incredibly blessed, yet, as unique as they are, and as individual as Josh’s story is, it’s important to realize that there are more than 6,000 other families with their own Fallen Hero and their own unique memories and stories… a Fallen Hero they remember proudly and miss daily. That’s why this mission is so important to us all.
For or over a year and a half I anticipated the day when we could present our first Fallen Hero Quilt and what could be said in the presentation that might best honor the Fallen Hero who was to receive it and the sacrifice he and his family made in service to our country.. and in the name of freedom throughout the world. In the end, I came to realize that words can’t adequately express the debt of gratitude America owes to Josh and his family and to the families of all of America’s Fallen Heroes.
That’s why it was so important to work directly with Josh’s family in order to make their Fallen Hero Quilt and then to take that extra step or presenting it to the family in person where we could say to them, “I want to extend my deepest and most humble appreciation on behalf of myself, the Patchwork Memorials Fallen Heroes Foundation as well as on behalf of the American people. We honor you for your sacrifice.”
We started the Patchwork Memorials Fallen Heroes Foundation based upon the conviction that the families of America’s Fallen Heroes deserve what our quilts provide, a constant reminder of the American people’s appreciation for their sacrifice along with a lasting, meaningful and tangible memorial to their beloved family member and Fallen Hero.
For over 200 years, patchwork memorial quilts have been a cherished American tradition through which families have celebrated, honored and remembered the lives of departed loved ones then passed down the quilts, as memory repositories, to subsequent generations so they too could better know and honor those that came before them.
It’s been said that life is not remembered like a movie but rather like a patchwork quilt… a series of snapshots… of moments in our mind that piece together to become our lives as we remember them. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “We do not live an equal life, but one of contrasts and patchwork; now a little joy, then a sorrow, now a sin, then a generous or brave action”
It’s for these reasons we’ve chosen this wonderful American tradition to honor America’s Fallen Heroes and their families.
We knew the families receiving a Fallen Hero Quilt would cherish it and appreciate the sentiment behind but I didn’t know just how much it would mean until I heard one of the TV newsmen ask Bernadette how much the quilt meant to her. She replied that, “if my house were on fire, the quilt would be the first thing I would make sure was safe.” That pretty much says it all. She went on to say how the family was going to have to work out some kind of schedule so everyone could have the quilt in their home for a period of time.
We’ve also operated on the belief that, although we see lots of generic acknowledgments where politicians and even high ranking military honor America’s Fallen Heroes and their families, there are few, if any occasions where families of Fallen Heroes are formally and personally honored for their sacrifice in words and with a love offering like a Fallen Hero Quilt. In conversation with Bernadette Kirk-Bonner after the presentation, she shared with me that the in-person presentation was almost as meaningful as the quilt itself and made the entire experience that much more meaningful to her and her family.
I also explained to Bernadette how the frames around the photo patches were reserved for grateful and patriotic Americans to have their names and personal messages honoring them embroidered onto the quilt. Since this was our first quilt, we hadn’t gotten any requests yet, so her Fallen Hero Quilt didn’t have any of these personal messages on it. Still, we wanted to know what it would have meant to her and her family if there were the names of 20 or more Americans reminding her how much we all honor their sacrifice. She told me that, as precious as the quilt was to her as it was, it would have been even more meaningful with words of appreciation from lots of other Americans added to it.
Through the trip to Bonners Ferry and the presentation of our first Fallen Heroes Quilt to Joshua Kirk’s family, I not only got the honor and privilege or meeting this wonderful family, I feel blessed to have been able to stand before them and honor them for their sacrifice and present them with what will become a treasured family heirloom honoring Sgt. Joshua Kirk, an American Hero. We want you to share in that feeling.
With the validation we received of our mission, we know our Fallen Hero Quilts will be treasured by the families and that the personal presentations we will arrange for each family will make the quilt and the event even more meaningful and memorable. We’ve also confirmed that enabling anyone and everyone, who appreciates the sacrifice these families have made, to make the quilt and the moment even more meaningful by adding their name and message to the quilt was an important addition to our Fallen Hero Quilts program. We invite you to participate; what will your message be?
Our commitment to completing this mission has been strengthened. Our belief in how important this mission is has been replaced by certainty. Today there are more than 6,000 families that deserve a quilt, the presentation and the personal thanks of a grateful nation that can only come from you. The only uncertainty now is whether there are enough of you out there who want to take that gratitude you feel every time you see someone in uniform or think about the sacrifice our Fallen Heroes and their families have made and to turn it into something tangible by saying it directly to one of those families with a personalized message on one of our quilts. Won’t you please join us in our efforts?
The task of personally honoring every family of every Fallen Hero… is beyond the ability of any one of us. But to make a real difference to one family of one Fallen Hero by personally honoring them with your own personal tribute is something you can do.
This isn’t a mission we can do alone, but with thousands upon thousands of you making a difference with one or more of these families by letting them know how much you honor their sacrifice through a personal message on a Fallen Hero Quilt, we can see this mission through to completion. Of course, we’d love some corporate sponsors who could expedite the process with a generous donation, but I can assure you, it’s the personal messages that you send that is going to make the biggest difference to the recipients so please, don’t put it off, pay your respects now. Just click here and fill out the form. We will notify you when your message has been embroidered on a quilt so you’ll know which family you have honored. May God Bless you and the families of America’s Fallen Heroes.
